you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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