I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
