nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
