Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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