careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I will pee on everything he values.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
