What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
