I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
