ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
