it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
