When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
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You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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