I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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