He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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