So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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