Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
