but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
