I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dear god my vagina.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
