I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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