I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Quick, to the slutcave!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
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So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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