You really coming over, don't trick.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
