I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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