farters have to be the big spoon...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
