Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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