if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he was CRYING into my vagina
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
