Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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