I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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