I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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