Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
