Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
