I wanna passion pit in your ass
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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