What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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