im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
