And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
