it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
