I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
