Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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