Its about making memories worth repressing
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i came on her dog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
