I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
