Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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