Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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