Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
