found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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