I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
