She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
