i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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