turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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