hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
