come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
