I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
