Dual....:-)
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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