it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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