she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
