Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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