Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm just crazy horny about you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
