found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
