Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
