Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How external is "for external use only"?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
