we have pet lesbian snakes
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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