You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
