1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
