I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
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He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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