1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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