new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
