I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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