I'm going to jail i love you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
