well most of my day revolves around power hour
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
