just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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